Sleep associations: why they’re nothing to fear!
Written by Jazz Kostov, Mum, Midwife, Baby and Toddler Sleep Consultant and Founder of Let’s Sleep.
Sleep associations play a huge role in how your baby falls asleep and stays asleep. These are the things your little one connects with the process of drifting off, and often, they rely on these associations to settle into sleep.
There are two main types of sleep associations: parent-dependent and parent-assisted.
Understanding the difference can help you make informed choices that support your baby’s sleep while ensuring the approach works for your family’s needs.
What Are Parent-Dependent Sleep Associations?
Parent-dependent sleep associations are habits or actions your baby relies on that require you to help them settle or resettle during the night and/or for naps. Common examples include feeding to sleep, rocking, co sleeping or needing your presence until they doze off.
Importantly, these are NOT bad habits!
Parent-dependent sleep associations are often vital in the early weeks and months of your baby’s life. They foster connection and help your baby feel safe and secure. However, some families find that over time, these associations can become unsustainable—especially if your baby continues to wake and need help to fall back asleep multiple times during the night.
Many parents book consultations with me when they reach a point where parent-dependent sleep associations, while beautiful, are no longer working for their family. But don’t worry—there are plenty of options to gently shift your baby toward more independent sleep when the time is right.
If you’re ready for support NOW to move away from a parent dependent sleep association - i’ve got your back! Book a discovery call here to talk about how I can help you.
What Are Parent-Assisted Sleep Associations?
Parent-assisted sleep associations are those comforting elements that help your baby associate their sleep environment with settling down, but they don’t require you to be directly involved in the falling asleep process. These associations are especially useful as your baby grows and becomes more capable of settling themselves (beyond 4 months of age).
Layering in some parent-assisted sleep associations will support your baby in feeling comforted in their sleep space, even when you’re not physically present. The goal here is to help your baby become familiar with their sleep environment so that when they wake up during the night or during naps (as all babies do), they can more easily resettle themselves back to sleep.
Examples of Sleep Associations
Here’s a breakdown of common parent-assisted and parent-dependent sleep associations to give you a clearer picture:
Parent-Assisted Sleep Associations:
White noise
Sleeping bag or swaddle
Own cot or crib
Comforter (if over 7 months old)
Dummy (if baby can find and replace it on their own)
Parent-Dependent Sleep Associations:
Feeding to sleep
Co-sleeping
Patting to sleep
Needing your presence to fall asleep
Rocking to sleep
Dummy (if baby cannot find and replace it on their own)
Shifting to More Independent Sleep
As your baby grows and their sleep needs evolve, finding a balance between parent-dependent and parent-assisted sleep associations can make a big difference if self settling is a goal you have.
The key is to introduce elements that help your baby feel secure and comfortable in their sleep space, while also gently encouraging them to settle independently over time.
For example, transitioning from rocking to sleep every night to using a comforter and white noise may offer your baby a sense of familiarity and comfort while reducing the need for your constant involvement in the falling to sleep process.
There’s no right or wrong way to approach sleep associations. Every family is unique, and what works for one baby may not work for another. The most important thing is finding a rhythm that supports your baby’s needs and works for your family.
Whether you’re currently embracing parent-dependent associations or looking to introduce more independent ones, remember: you’re not creating bad habits—you’re responding to your baby’s needs.
When the time comes, you can always make gentle changes to create a more sustainable sleep routine.
Jazz x
Keen for support with your little one's sleep? I'd love to help! You can either book in a 15 minute discovery call with me or fill out this super easy contact form and i'll be in touch with you within 2 business days.
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